F.O.R.D Crest Ye Olde Brew News F.E.R.A. Crest
June 2001 Fermental Order of Renaissance Draughtsmen Vol. 9 No. 6
In this issue:

June's Meeting

The next meeting will be held back at Sisko's in Taylor on Tuesday, June 26. Sisko's is located on Monroe (between Telegraph and Southfield), just south of Vanborn. Their address is 5855 Monroe and their phone number is 313-278-5340. Sisko's also has a website at http://www.siskos.com/. The competition for June is the Weiss and Wit Competition; the Wit Competition is an AHA Competition. The BJCP categories are category #3b {American Wheat} , 17 a, b, c, & d {German Wheat Beers}, and 19 b {Wit}. As usual, the thirsty hard-core who want dinner will start arriving around 5PM, people will drift in for an hour or so, and we will start our meeting around 6PM.


Competition Results


Howard Klix

The winners from the Porter Competition are:

Name of Competition
Place Name Style Points
1 Howard and Marla Klix Brown Porter 42.5/50
2T Rich Hampo Porter 39.25/50
2T Doug Geiss and Kathy Loftus Chocolate Porter 39.25 /50
3 James Gerrity Robust Porter 38.25/50
HM Doug Geiss and Kathy Loftus Chocolate Kahlua Porter 35.5/50
HM Bob and Kim Barrett Brown Porter 35.25/50

Last month's Bock competition was won by Bob and Kim Barrett with a dopplebock scoring 48 points.

The competition for June is the Weiss and Wit Competition; the Wit Competition is an AHA Competition. The BJCP categories are category #3b {American Wheat} , 17 a, b, c, & d {German Wheat Beers}, and 19 b {Wit}.

3B. American Wheat

Aroma: Characteristic of wheat with some graininess. Bavarian Weizen’s clovey and banana aromas are inappropriate. Hop aroma may be high or low but if present will be from American hop varieties.

Appearance: Usually pale straw to gold. Dark versions approximating Dunkel Weizens are acceptable. Clarity may range from brilliant to hazy with yeast approximating the hefe Weizen style of beer. Big, long-lasting head.

Flavor: Light graininess. Bavarian Weizenbier flavors such are banana esters and clove-like phenols are inappropriate. Hop flavor may be from low to high. Hop bitterness low to medium. Some fruitiness from ale fermentation acceptable; however, the use of a fairly neutral American ale yeast usually results in a clean fermentation. Little to no diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Light to medium body. Higher carbonation is appropriate. Mouthfeel will appear lighter than actual body due to higher levels of carbonation.

Overall Impression: A light, refreshing beer that exhibits balanced hop and wheat maltiness.

Ingredients: Standard ale yeast. Often 50% wheat malt or more.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.035-1.055

IBUs: 10-30 FG: 1.008-1.015

SRM: 2-8 ABV: 3.7-5.5%

Commercial Examples: Otter Creek Summer Wheat, Anchor Wheat, Boulevard Wheat, Pyramid Hefe-Weizen.


17. WHEAT BEER


17A. Bavarian Weizen

Aroma: Vanilla and clove-like phenols and fruity esters of banana are common. Hop aroma ranges from low to none. No diacetyl. Some aroma of wheat may be present.

Appearance: Pale straw to dark reddish-gold in color. A very thick, long-lasting head is characteristic. High protein content of wheat may impair clarity in an unfiltered beer, and clarity can be deliberately cloudy in a Hefe-Weizen from suspended yeast sediment. The filtered Krystal version is quite clear.

Flavor: The soft, grainy flavor of wheat is essential. Hop flavor is low to none and hop bitterness is very low. A tart character from yeast and high carbonation may be present. Spicy clove phenols and fruity esters, most prominently banana, are often present. No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: The texture of wheat imparts the sensation of a fluffy, creamy fullness that may progress to a surprisingly light finish. A high carbonation level is typical.

Overall Impression: A pale, spicy, fruity, wheat-based ale.

History: A traditional wheat-based ale from Southern Germany that is a specialty for summer consumption.

Comments: These are refreshing, fast-maturing beers that are lightly hopped. The Hefe-Weizen version is served with yeast sediment stirred into it. The Krystal version is filtered for excellent clarity.

Ingredients: A high percentage of malted wheat is used which typically constitutes 50% or more of the grist, the remainder being pale barley malt. Weizen ale yeast produces the typical spicy and fruity essences during a relatively warm fermentation. Hops are used for a small amount of bittering only. Water character will vary.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.040-1.056

IBUs: 10-20 FG: 1.010-1.014

SRM: 2-9 ABV: 4.3-5.6%

Commercial Examples: Paulaner Hefe-Weizen, Pschorr-Brau Weisse, Spaten Club-Weisse, Schneider Weisse, Julius Echter Weizenbier.





17B. Bavarian Dunkelweizen

Aroma: Gentle aroma of Munich malt supported by fruity, notably banana, and clove-spice aromas. No hop aroma. No diacetyl.

Appearance: Light amber to light brown in color. A thick, long-lasting head is characteristic. High protein content of wheat may impair clarity in an unfiltered beer.

Flavor: Melanoidins and caramel character of Munich and Vienna-type malts is prominent, along with some wheat flavor. There may be some spicy, fruity flavor as well. Roasty character is rare and very restrained if present. Low hop bitterness. No hop flavor. No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: The texture of wheat imparts the sensation of a fluffy, creamy fullness that may progress to a lighter finish. However, the presence of Munich and Vienna-type malts provides its own sense of fullness. A moderate to high carbonation level is typical.

Overall Impression: A dark, malty, spicy, wheat-based ale.

History: A dark version of Bavarian Weizen.

Comments: The presence of Munich and Vienna-type barley malts gives this style a deeper and richer barley malt character than Bavarian Weizen. Often, there is less of the tart quality as well.

Ingredients: Wheat malt typically makes up 50% or more of the grist, the remainder being Munich or Vienna-type high-kilned barley malts. Some dark wheat malts may be used. Dark roasted malts are rarely used and then only in very small concentrations. Hops provide a mild bitterness only. Weizen ale yeast is used. Water character will vary.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.040-1.056

IBUs: 10-20 FG: 1.010-1.014

SRM: 10-23 ABV: 4.3-5.6%

Commercial Examples: Pschorr-Brau Dunkel Weiss, Franziskaner Dunkel-Weizen, Schneider Dunkel Weiss.


17C. Berliner Weisse

Aroma: Slightly fruity; a sour aspect may be quite noticeable. On occasion a mild Brettanomyces yeast aroma may be present. No hop aroma. No diacetyl.

Appearance: Very pale straw in color. Clarity ranges from fair to cloudy. Despite high carbonation, head retention can vary from moussy to low.

Flavor: Lactic sourness dominates and can be quite strong, but some wheat flavor should be noticeable. Hop bitterness is very low. Mild Brettanomyces yeast character may be detected occasionally. No hop flavor. No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Light body. High carbonation.

Overall Impression: A very pale, sour, refreshing, low-alcohol wheat ale.

History: A regional specialty of Berlin; referred to by Napoleon's troops in 1809 as "the Champagne of the North" due to its lively and elegant character.

Comments: Often served with the addition of sugar syrups flavored with raspberry or woodruff to counter the substantial sourness. Has been described by some as the most purely refreshing beer in the world.

Ingredients: Wheat malt content is typically well under 50% of the grist, the remainder being pale barley malt. Lactobacillus delbruckii culture and fermentation provides the sharp sourness, which may be enhanced by blending of beers of different ages during fermentation and by extended cool aging. Ale yeast ferments to a low alcohol level. Hop bitterness is extremely low. Water may have significant hardness.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.026-1.036

IBUs: 3-8 FG: 1.006-1.009

SRM: 2-4 ABV: 2.8-3.6%

Commercial Examples: Schultheiss Berliner Weisse, Berliner Kindl Weisse.


17D. Weizenbock

Aroma: A powerful aroma of ripe fruit is very common. Aroma of alcohol is also common. Some clove-spice aroma may be present. No hop aroma. No diacetyl.

Appearance: Light amber to dark brown in color. High alcohol level may impair what would otherwise be a thick, long-lasting head. Wheat protein content may impair clarity.

Flavor: Concentrated wheat flavor is dominant. Malty complexity, including smoky or raisin-like essences, may be present in darker versions. A fruity character is common, and some clove-spice flavor may occur. Well-aged examples may show some sherry-like oxidation as a point of complexity. Hop bitterness is well controlled to allow wheat and malt flavors to dominate the balance. No hop flavor. No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Full-bodied. A creamy sensation is typical, as is the warming sensation of substantial alcohol content. Moderate carbonation.

Overall Impression: A strong, malty, fruity, wheat-based ale.

History: A Bavarian specialty first introduced by Schneider in 1907 under the Aventinus name.

Comments: A Bock among Bavarian Weizen beers.

Ingredients: Wheat malt is typically 50% or more of the grist, the remainder barley malts. Hops provide mild bitterness only. Weizen ale yeasts are used. Water character can vary.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.066-1.080+

IBUs: 15-30 FG: 1.015-1.022

SRM: 7-25 ABV: 6.5-8.0%+

Commercial Examples: Schneider Aventinus, Erdinger Pikantus, Pyramid Weizenbock.

19B. Witbier

Aroma: A sweet and occasionally honey-like character with prominent citrus (notably orange), herbal and spice aromas is characteristic, and is often followed by a mild phenolic aroma. Hop aroma is low to none. No diacetyl.

Appearance: Very pale straw to very light gold in color, and generally cloudy. Head retention should be quite good and of a moussy character.

Flavor: The flavor of unmalted wheat is typically noticeable. Coriander, citrus and mild phenolic flavors contribute to a complex and elegant character. A very slight lactic acidity resulting from a limited Lactobacillus fermentation is present in some examples, providing a refreshing quality, and is absent in others. Hop flavor is low to none. Hop bitterness is typically restrained, and some bitterness may also be contributed by bitter orange peel. No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Light to medium body. Effervescent character of high carbonation. Refreshing acidity.

Overall Impression: A refreshing, elegant, complex, wheat-based ale.

History: A 400-year-old beer style that died out in the 1950s, it was revived by Pierre Celis in the 1960s to steadily growing popularity thereafter.

Comments: The presence and degree of spicing and lactic sourness vary from one brand or brewery to another.

Ingredients: About 50% unmalted hard red winter wheat and 50% pale barley malt constitute the grist; in some versions a small percentage of raw oats is used as well. Spices of freshly-ground coriander and dried orange peel complement the sweet aroma and are quite characteristic; other spices may be used for complexity but are much less prominent. Ale yeast prone to production of mild, clovey/spicey flavors are very characteristic. In some instances a very limited Lactobacillus fermentation, or actual addition of lactic acid, is done.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.042-1.055

IBUs: 15-22 FG: 1.008-1.012

SRM: 2-4 ABV: 4.2-5.5%

Commercial Examples: Celis White, Hoegaarden Wit, Steendonk Witbier, Brugs Tarwebier, Blanche de Bruges.



Over the Mill Results

If you came to the last meeting you know about this already. This is the first chance that I have to put the link to the Michigan Beer Guide web page in the Newsletter [Editor's note: this worked on Monday June 18, but when I went back to check the link on Tuesday before I sent the newsletter to the F.O.R.D. website the Over the Mill competition results page gave an error message. The URL may not work.] . Chris Frey won the best of show with his Russian Imperial Stout. In the "Over the Mill" judging, he lost to Tom Blake's triple bock. Chris will have to wait until next year for that refrigerated custom-made home draft system. Dave Cord's took first in the wheat beer division for a weizenbock, and your newsletter editor took first in the Stout category for a foreign export stout. Chris took a second place for his Belgian tripel in the Strong Belgian Ale Category, and yours truly took a second in the mead category for that Vanilla Metheglin that I've been bringing to meetings lately.


Online Bookstore

relayed by Rich Byrnes

-----Original Message-----
From: Natalie Abernethy [mailto:Natalie@allaboutbeer.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2001 12:02 PM
To: Homebrewers@mindspring.com
Subject: Appreciation

Greetings Beerlovers!

We're happy to announce the Grand Opening of the All About Beer Online's Bookstore at http://www.allaboutbeer.com/bookstore

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Circulation Manager
Chautauqua, Inc.
tel. (919) 530-8150
fax. (919) 530-8160
natalie@allaboutbeer.com

Administrator, North American Guild of Beer Writers guildadmin@beerwriters.org

All About Beer Online http://www.allaboutbeer.com Guild of Beer Writers Online http://www.beerwriters.org 501-H Washington St. Durham, NC 27701

Beer Stuff for Sale

Gary Shewchuk

I got a reply from Scott that he only wants to sell it as a package.

Complete beer brewing equipment setup for kegging or bottling minus secondary fermenter.

Note:All equipment has been kept in excellent and sterile condition. Misc extra parts. $250.00 Dollars

See or Call Scott Eatinger Home 313-436-8586 or Bus 248-553-1106 Page 248-903-3780

Gary Shewchuk
Instrumentation Supervisor
Visteon Climate Control Laboratory
45000 Helm St. Room C300
Plymouth, MI 48170
Tel. 734 416 2548
Fax 734 416 6770
http://vm7.dearborn.ford.com/cgi/textpage?PAGETO=gshewchu


Blast from the Past ... Five Years Ago in F.O.R.D.

From the June 1996 Newsletter...

The last meeting was held on May 22nd at our recent favorite club hangout, Chelsea's Restaurant. Neil opened the meeting and announced that the F.O.R.D. club is now officially recognized FERA club.

A motion was passed to revise the Constitution to remove the responsibility from the secretary to create the newsletter.

Richard discussed the upcoming Rivertown Beer Festival and indicated that all club members were welcome and needed as volunteers (see Rivertown article this issue).

Sandy gave the treasurer's report and it sure looks like were going to have a great barbeque in August.

Crispy distributed the Zymurgy 1992 special edition xerox copy which covered beer brewers favorite gadgets. There are a couple of additional copies available if anyone needs them. Chris then discussed the idea of swapping homebrews. Anyone interested in swapping homebrews please bring a six pack that is properly labelled.

David Dahl invited his friend Dave Hale as a guest speaker. Dave recently graduated from the Association of Brewers Microbrewers training course after working in a brew pub in Colorado for a couple of years. He is now headed to the east coast to work in a microbrewery. He spoke on the clases that he took and the type of experiments in beer making methods and practices he learned. He highly recommended the Association of Brewers courses and there are some geared to home brewers wanting to learn more advanced techniques. Literature is available from the club's library.


Next Month's Competition

Next month's competition is the lawnmower beer competition. This competition is for light bodied beers. Some examples are given below. Please note this is not an exclusive list.

1. AMERICAN LAGER


1A. Light/Standard/Premium

Aroma: Little to no malt aroma. Hop aroma may range from none to light, flowery hop presence. Slight fruity aromas from yeast and hop varieties used may exist, as well as perceptible levels of green apples due to acetaldehyde. Low levels of "cooked-corn" aroma from DMS may be present. No diacetyl.

Appearance: Very pale straw to pale gold color. White head seldom persists. Very clear.

Flavor: Crisp and dry flavor with some low levels of sweetness. Hop flavor ranges from none to low levels. Hop bitterness at low to medium level. Balance may vary from slightly malty to slightly bitter, but is relatively close to even. High levels of carbonation may provide a slight acidity or dry "sting." No diacetyl. No fruitiness.

Mouthfeel: Very light body from use of a high percentage of adjuncts such as rice or corn. Very well carbonated with slight carbonic bite on the tongue.

Overall Impression: Very refreshing and thirst quenching. "Light" beers will have a lower gravity and less resulting alcohol than the standard. Premium beers tend to have fewer adjuncts or can be all-malt.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with high percentage (up to 40%) of rice or corn as adjuncts.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.035-1.050

IBUs: 8-22 FG: 0.098-1.012

SRM: 2-8 ABV: 3.5-5.1%

Commercial Examples: Standard: Budweiser, Molson Golden, Kirin, Corona, Fosters; Premium: Michelob; Light: Bud Light, Miller Lite.


1C. Classic American Pilsner

Aroma: Low to medium clean, grainy and sweet maltiness may be evident. Medium to high hop aroma, often classic noble hops. No fruitiness or diacetyl. Some "cooked-corn" aroma due to DMS may be noticeable.

Appearance: Light to gold color. Substantial, long lasting head. Bright clarity.

Flavor: Medium to high maltiness similar to the Bohemian Pilsners but somewhat lighter due to the use of up to 30% flaked maize (corn) used as an adjunct. Slight grainy sweetness from the use of maize with substantial offsetting hop bitterness. Medium to high hop flavor from noble hops. Medium to high hop bitterness. No fruitiness or diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Medium body and rich, creamy mouthfeel. Medium to high carbonation levels.

Overall Impression: A substantial Pilsner that can stand up to the classic European Pilsners, but exhibiting the native American grains and water available to German brewers who initially brewed it in the USA. Refreshing, but with the underlying malt and hops that stand out when compared to other modern American light lagers. The maize presents a unique grainy sweetness that is indicative of the style.

History: A version of Pilsner brewed in the USA by immigrant German brewers who brought the process and yeast with them when they settled in America. They worked with the ingredients that were native to America to create a unique version of the original Pilsner. This style died out with Prohibition but was resurrected as a home-brewed style by advocates of the hobby.

Comments: The classic American Pilsner was brewed both pre-Prohibition and post-Prohibition with some differences. OGs of 1.050-1.060 would have been appropriate for pre-Prohibition beers while gravities dropped to 1.044-1.049 after Prohibition. Corresponding IBUs dropped from a pre-Prohibition level of 25-40 to 20-35 after Prohibition.

Ingredients: Six-row barley with 20% to 30% flaked maize to dilute the excessive protein levels. Native American hops such as Clusters or traditional noble German hops. Modern Hallertau crosses (Ultra, Liberty,Crystal) are also appropriate.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.044-1.060

IBUs: 25-40 FG: 1.010-1.015

SRM: 3-6 ABV: 4.5-6%

Commercial Examples: None.


3. LIGHT ALE


3A. Blond Ale

Aroma: Some fruitiness; may have low to medium hop bouquet, principally from American hop varieties. Light maltiness. Low diacetyl OK.

Appearance: Pale straw to deep gold in color. Clear to brilliant. Good head retention.

Flavor: Soft, lightly malty palate, some fruitiness and hop flavor present. Usually balanced with a light to medium bitterness, though the accent tilts towards malt. Hop bitterness low to medium, although some versions are very restrained with hops, making the beer sweet in character. Low levels of diacetyl acceptable.

Mouthfeel: Medium body, though lighter mouthfeel from higher carbonation may be noticed.

Overall Impression: This beer is generally balanced with light hops and malt as an introduction to alternate beer styles for the mass-market beer consumer.

History: Currently produced by (American) microbreweries and brewpubs.

Ingredients: Generally all malt.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.045-1.060

IBUs: 15-33 FG: 1.008-1.015

SRM: 2-8 ABV: 4-6%

Commercial Examples: Catamount Gold, Goose Island Blonde, Bridgeport Pintail Ale.


3C. Cream Ale

Aroma: Low hop aroma may be present. Low levels of DMS acceptable. Low maltiness. Some character from the use of corn as an adjunct may be present.

Appearance: Pale straw to pale gold. Clear to brilliant. Good head retention.

Flavor: Low hop bittering. Low maltiness; however, grainy sweetness from corn may be present. Low levels of fruitiness OK. Balanced, clean fermentation. No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Light body. Well carbonated. Smooth mouthfeel.

Overall Impression: A light, refreshing, thirst-quenching beer.

History: Adaptation of American light lager. Fermented as an ale, followed by cold conditioning or a blending of ale and lager beers, which reduces the fermentation byproducts.

Ingredients: Corn or rice is often used as adjuncts.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.044-1.055

IBUs: 10-22 FG: 1.007-1.010

SRM: 2-4 ABV: 4.4-5.7%

Commercial Examples: Genesee Cream Ale, Little Kings Cream Ale.


4. BITTER AND ENGLISH PALE ALE


4A. Ordinary Bitter

Aroma: Hop aroma can range from moderate to none. Diacetyl and caramel aromas also moderate to none. Should have mild to moderate fruitiness. The best examples have some malt aroma.

Appearance: Medium gold to medium copper-brown. May have very little head due to low carbonation.

Flavor: Medium to high bitterness. May or may not have hop flavor, diacetyl and fruitiness. Crystal malt flavor very common. Balance varies from even to decidedly bitter, although the bitterness should not completely overpower the malt flavor.

Mouthfeel: Light to medium-light body. Carbonation low, although bottled examples can have moderate carbonation.

Overall Impression: Low gravity, low alcohol levels and low carbonation make this an easy-drinking beer.

History: Originally a draught ale served very fresh under no pressure (gravity or hand pump only) at cellar temperatures. Note that recently some British brewers have been using American hops (e.g., Cascade), but beers made like this fit better into the American pale ale guideline.

Comments: The lightest of the bitters.

Ingredients: Pale ale malt, crystal malts, English hops, often medium sulfate water are used.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.030-1.038

IBUs: 20-40 FG: 1.008-1.013

SRM: 6-14 ABV: 3-3.8%

Commercial Examples: Henley's Brakspear Bitter, Boddington's Pub Draught, Thomas Hardy Country Bitter, Young's Bitter, Fuller's Chiswick Bitter.


8A. Koelsch-Style Ale

Aroma: Light hop aroma, German noble or Czech Saaz hops, giving a light fruitiness. Maltiness none to low. No diacetyl, as this is a lagered beer resulting in a clean finish with just a hint of fruitiness from primary fermentation at ale temperatures. Low sulfur aroma, similar to that of pale continental lagers, is acceptable, particularly in a young Koelsch.

Appearance: Very pale to light gold. Very clear/brilliant. White head lingers as Belgian lace on the sides of the glass.

Flavor: Soft, rounded palate; light hop fruitiness and a delicate dryness to slight sweetness in the finish. Clean fermentation with just a little residual fruitiness from ale fermentation temperatures. No diacetyl. Medium-low bitterness. Balanced toward bitterness but malt character should not be completely overshadowed.

Mouthfeel: Light side of medium body. Medium carbonation. Smooth, crisp mouthfeel.

Overall Impression: A delicately balanced beer with just a hint of flavor/aroma hops and fruitiness that finishes dry to slightly sweet with a crisply refreshing bitterness over a base of smooth, rounded Pils malt flavor.

History: As an appellation, the Koelsch name can only be used for beers brewed in Koeln (Cologne), Germany, where it is a native style.

Comments: Brewed at ale temperatures, then cold conditioned to reduce fermentation byproducts.

Ingredients: European hops only. Pils malt; small amounts of wheat may be used (<25%).

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.040-1.048

IBUs: 16-30 FG: 1.008-1.013

SRM: 3.5-5 ABV: 4.0-5.0%

Commercial Examples: Available in Koeln only: Malzmuehle, Hellers, PJFrueh, Paeffgen, Sion, Kueppers. In the US: Hollywood Blonde.


10A. Mild

Aroma: Slight mild malt/brown malt aroma, with some fruitiness. No hop aroma.

Appearance: Medium to dark brown or mahogany color. A few light brown examples exist. May have very little head due to low carbonation.

Flavor: Malty, though not roasty, with a lightly nutty character. Flavors may include: vinous, licorice, plum or raisin, or chocolate. Usually fairly well balanced, though some are sweetly malt-oriented.

Mouthfeel: Light to medium body. Low carbonation and relatively high residual sweetness contribute to a full mouthfeel relative to the gravity.

Overall Impression: A light-flavored, malt-accented beer that is readily suited to drinking in quantity. Refreshing, yet flavorful.

History: May have evolved as one of the elements of early porters. In modern terms, the name "mild" refers to the relative lack of hop bitterness, Originally, the “mildness” may have referred to the fact that this beer was young and did not yet have the moderate sourness that aged batches had.

Ingredients: English mild/brown malt, or a combination of English pale and darker malts should comprise the grist. English hop varieties would be most suitable, though their character is muted.

Vital Statistics: OG: 1.030-1.038

IBUs: 10-20 FG: 1.008-1.013

SRM: 10-25 ABV: 2.5-4.0%

Commercial Examples: Brain’s Dark, Banks's Mild, Highgate Mild, Fuller's Hock, McMullin AK, Robinson's Best Mild.



beerglass Beer Events, Meetings & Competitions
Gabrielle Palmer
bitter

smile2 Fermental Funny smile
Al Czajkowski

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness

.

Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." "Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

"

But then...
A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is: That no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.

Also from Al...

For those beer lovers among you I thought these warnings most appropriate.

Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that they immediately place the following warning labels on all beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

finally one more funny from Al...

Subject: Beer troubleshooting

Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Action: Rotate glass so open end points towards ceiling.

Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
Fault: Improper bladder control.
Action: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
Fault: Glass empty.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

Symptom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
Fault: You have fallen over backwards.
Action: Have yourself leashed to the bar.

Symptom: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
Fault: You have fallen forwards.
Action: See above.

Symptom: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Action: Retire to the restroom, practice in mirror.

Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through the bottom of empty glass.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

Symptom: Floor moving.
Fault: You are being carried out.
Action: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Symptom: Room seems unusually dark.
Fault: Bar has closed.
Action: Confirm home address with bartender.

Symptom: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
Fault: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limits.
Action: Cover mouth.

Symptom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
Fault: You are dancing on the table.
Action: Fall on someone cushy looking.

Symptom: Beer is crystal clear.
Fault: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
Action: Punch him.

Symptom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, and mind unusually clear.
Fault: You have been in a fight.
Action: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Symptom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you are in.
Fault: You've wandered into the wrong party.
Action: See if they have free beer.

Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.
Fault: The beer is too weak.
Action: Have more beer until your voice improves.

Symptom: Don't remember the words to the song.
Fault: Beer is just right.
Action: Play air guitar.

from Howard Klix Jr.

Courtesy http://www.smash.com/seg/timelab/stories/ - if anyone has more info regarding this, such as what brew-house this was, let me know...

BEER AND THE MAYFLOWER Did a thirst for beer... play a role in the colonizing of America? The Mayflower is headed for Virginia... but ends up putting ashore at Plymouth rock. One Pilgrim's diary explains why: "We could not take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer." Yes- the Pilgrims made port because they ran out of beer (then considered an essential and a healthy part of everyone's daily diet)! Once ashore, they promptly erected a brew-house... and got to work brewing up a new batch to slake their thirsts. So Plymouth, Massachusetts ended up becoming the historic home of the pilgrims... because they needed to make a beer run!

from Theresa Young

Multiple Births

There were four men in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room whose wives were in labor.

The nurse came out and announced to the first father, "Congratulations, you have twins!"

"What a coincidence," said the father. "I was drinking Two Rivers Beer the night they were conceived!"

A little while later, the nurse came out and told the second father, "You are the father of triplets."

"Wow," replied the second father. "I was drinking St. Bernardus Tripel the night they were conceived !"

The nurse came out again and said to the third father, "Your wife had quadruplets!"

"WOW! What a coincidence!" said the third father. "I was drinking beer at the Four Seasons Hotel Bar."

At this point, the fourth father fainted and dropped to the floor. When he came to, everyone asked him what caused him to lose consciousness. He replied, "I was smashed on 7 & 7's!"

Beer Humor
Monday January 29, 2001

An orchestra was playing Beethoven's 9th symphony. The bass section has a 20-minute break between parts, so the conductor tells those musicians to leave the stage during the performance.

So it's opening night, and the basses play their part and leave the stage; they decide to go across the street for a beer while they wait. Then it becomes two beers, and three. Finally, someone says they should head back, but the head bass says, "Don't worry. Before the concert I used a piece of string to tie the last pages of the score together. The conductor will have to slow down the symphony until he unties the score with his free hand."

So, after another few beers, the basses return to the concert hall, just in time to see the conductor trying to untie the score. He gives them a stern look when he sees them stumble in. After all, it was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the basses were loaded.


Ye Olde Brew News
published by the F.O.R.D. Homebrew Club
Editor:
Tony Tantillo

Contributors:
Howard Klix, Sr.
Al Czajkowski
Rich Byrnes
Howard Klix Jr.
Gary Shewchuk
Theresa Young

Club Officers:
Doug Geiss, President
Howard Klix, Sr, Vice President
Howard Klix Jr., Secretary
Chris Frey, Treasurer
Tony Tantillo, Newsletter Editor
Gabrielle Palmer, Webmaster
Sue Merritt, Photographer/Historian/Beer Mooch
Kathy Loftus, Photographer
Mike Arend, Librarian
Jim Rice & Tyler Barber, Special Events Coordinators
Tyler Barber, Equipment Manager
Rich Byrnes, Business Manager

F.O.R.D. is a private, non-profit organization of homebrewers. The main goal of this club is to promote awareness and appreciation of the quality and variety of beer; to share information regarding technique, equipment and skill required to brew quality homemade beer; and to encourage responsible use of beer as an alcohol-containing beverage.


Howard Klix Jr.
24737 Cushing Ave
Eastpointe, MI 48021

Phone: 810-779-1445
Email: raistlin01@home.com

Visit our website at: http://www.be.ford.com/brewers/
or external to Ford at: http://hbd.org/ford/

current circulation... 125